Does it sometimes feel as if it would kill you to forgive? No, we never feel that way. Or at least I don't. Most of the time, we just feel as if it would be so unjust to forgive an offense against us, or our loved ones. We think of it in terms of justice, as if holding the grudge is a punishment held against the offender, and they deserve it. In reality, the grudge is a malfunction of our own hearts... a mechanical breakdown... a fear of loving. The human heart was never made to hold a grudge. We were made to love and praise God. Nothing in the original Creation was made to frustrate or upset man. He was given all his heart could desire, yet something in his heart misfired... at a mere suggestion made by a serpent. After the Fall of Adam & Eve, man began to feel the emotion of unforgiveness. But, this mechanical breakdown of the heart can be remedied. After I explain, I will share with you 7 ways to forgive your brother.

     Today, as well as in Bible, the words "feelings" and "thoughts" are used interchangeably as functions of both the mind and heart. The fact is, the human brain is a fluid thing, and is affected by the things we see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. Our life experiences alter us and shape us, as an ongoing process. The heart itself is assigned functions of emotions by many. The brain is seen as the "thinker." But, realistically, the thinking brain has a filtering system of values that we use to make cognitive decisions on every topic. There is, after all, a reason most men like bacon. Why do men like bacon? Think about that for a moment. The brain does not just think rationally without input from emotions.
     And, where do your emotions come from? They are partly influenced by hormones secreted from glands, which have nothing to do with the brain or logical thought. Yet, no one could deny that emotions influence our decisions. Look back at the bacon question. A strip of bacon has very little actual meat. Bacon is a huge percentage fat, and will not provide the protein that would fill us up. Compare a slice of bacon, or two, or three, to a ribeye steak. There really is no comparison, is there? Which one is more filling? Yet, you do not see the media craze for steak that you do for bacon. Bacon is portrayed as meat for a hearty appetite. This is illogical, to say the least. I would choose steak over bacon any day, logically! Yet, many value bacon. Their mental value filters tell them to think of the bacon as good.
     The heart functions mechanically by a series of valves that circulate blood; which issues life throughout the body, (if we don't eat too much bacon.) The brain functions mechanically in a similar way; in that neurons fire off electrical impulses, which travel along synapses through the nervous system of the body. This dual fluid and charge system makes up our life force. Blood and neuronal impulses are constantly regenerated throughout the body. What the heart and brain receive,they have already sent out. They get nothing they haven't already given. What they give, they will get in return.
     Likewise, when dealing with sociological concerns like mercy and forgiveness, we can not physically receive what we do not give. If we criticize those around us, we will "feel" condemnation in return.

     Will itself will not change our emotions, but rather will gives us the power to change our emotions. Changes in emotion are made by changing our actions and thoughts. Thoughts are themselves exchangeable by changing actions. Therefore, most emotions are exchangeable by changing our mode of action.
     Likewise, we can choose as a matter of will to forgive others. That is usually the way it is done, since God does not rescind our human will, and coerce forgiveness. There are many good ways to help yourself forgive someone, short of dying on a cross. Below are 7 ways I have tried myself, and they always seem to work for me. If you find them useful, feel free to drop me a note to let me know.

#1: Forgive Vicariously!
     If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, then you have received forgiveness by being washed, metaphorically, in the blood of the cross. What this means, is that since Jesus died in your place, the blood He shed was an act that covers your sins.  If you have received this forgiveness, then you have already directly been exposed to forgiveness, first hand.  He has basically given us a figurative "blood transfusion;" replacing the unforgiveness and evil nature inside of man with His own goodness, through the cleansing power of the blood. This forgiveness for our sins killed Jesus. It may kill you, figuratively to forgive some offenses. But, you have an example. You can forgive those who offend you vicariously, that is through the actions of someone else, Jesus Christ. 

#2: Forgive as an Example!
     If someone is always being critical of you, try forgiving them for a mistake they make. If you can't find something to forgive them for, forgive someone else in their presence.  Criticism is a physical problem that can be remedied by repeated exposure to forgiveness. Seeing examples of forgiveness cures a condemning spirit. Choosing to forgive others is a way that we can demonstrate the power and forgiveness of Jesus to the world.

#3: Forgive in Proxy!
     If you no longer have contact with the person who has hurt you, because of death or distance, choose a person who has the same problems or vices that the offender had, and forgive them. Remember, forgive is a verb -an action word. Physically doing something for this person to help them with a problem their vice has caused will result in an internal release of forgiveness. For example, if a parent was an alcoholic, and caused you anguish throughout your life, but they are no longer living for you to practice the action of forgiving, help someone with a drinking problem, or volunteer at a rehab clinic. Actively helping someone stop an offense that has hurt you in the past, will allow them to receive your forgiveness as a stand-in. You benefit by releasing forgiveness out of your own heart for the person who is gone, into the life of another person who will live better because of your gift of forgiveness.

#4: Forgive in Increments!
     If what someone has done hurt you too deeply and traumatically for forgiveness, then choose a small part of their mistake to forgive for starters. By chipping away the unforgivable bit by bit, you will find you have no grudges left. Bitterness drains your heart's reserves. Forgiveness gives you power.

#5: Forgive early; Forgive often!
     Forgiveness is accumulative. Practice forgiveness by forgiving "little crimes." Repeat as often as necessary, until you find your heart is overflowing with forgiveness. The most difficult time to forgive is when we are "running on empty" and feeling like we are drained. Store up forgiveness, because you never know when the hard years will come, and you may have to hurt for awhile. When that happens, you will be thankful that your heart is full of forgiveness, and you find it easy to release the pain into forgiving someone else, because you have been learning to forgive all along.

#6: Forgive Yourself!
     Offenses hurt the offender, too. Sometimes you were punished for those things you did wrong, and that hurt. So, you need to forgive yourself for hurting yourself like that. Spend one week listing everything you've done in your life that was wrong, mean, or painful for anyone else. It will take at least a week, because we often block our own offenses out of our memory. Write it down even if you weren't caught, because you suffered mentally, and emotionally in some way for having done it: guilt, shame, bad dreams, fear of discovery. You can keep a running list in a note-taking app like Evernote. After 7 days, mark the offenses off your list one at a time as you tell yourself you are forgiven. This may sound like faulty logic for a moment, unless you realize, you really are being forgiven, because you are forgiven by yourself. You may not be forgiven by the person you wronged, but you forgive yourself. 

#7: Forgive like Jesus!
     The mercy you get is the mercy you give from your own heart. It works like the circulatory sstem I mentioned at the beginning. Forgiveness pumped out; forgiveness pumped in! Bitterness out; bitterness in! Mercy out; mercy in! This flow chart assures us that we get what we give. Jesus forgave us of all the sins and offenses we have ever committed. If you are yet unforgiven, you can repent, or turn from your sins right this very moment, and be converted to the Gospel of Jesus. Jesus is the ultimate forgiver. He gives, and He forgives, and He keeps on giving. His heart works! If we close our hearts up, and refuse to allow mercy and forgiveness to flow through us, then we will be unable to receive forgiveness ourselves. If we are already forgiven, then the same forgiveness that flows into our heart, can flow out of our hearts by an act of will, just as Jesus willed Himself to forgive on the cross.  Remember, the mercy you get is the mercy you give from your own heart. Choose to forgive! Forgive like Jesus!

     Jesus called Himself the way, the truth, and the life. These were not plural, but notice that he added that there was no other way or truth or life to get to the Father.

     We know that He was called light as well. But, I can't stop comparing these three characteristics of God's nature to the three keys to Spirituality highlighted by Paul in the love chapter. And, don't forget to notice where the LOVE chapter is in the New Testament... it's sandwiched in the middle of a bunch of doctrinal issues and the Spiritual gifts. After you have paused for a moment to listen to the aged old man insist that he is going to show you the best way to be Spiritual, with a wave of his arm, then we will skip right through the chapter to the last word on love. 

     Here we see the three keys a Christian should strive for: faith, hope, and love... if we want to be so Spiritual. I see a correlation between the two sets of three. I believe a case can be made to match them up. We could do that here and now on the spot. But, I want you to make the match yourself. I've made mine. And, I have posted it on another of my websites for you to take a peek at... once you've done your homework. It's over on a new page of Go-Minister that I am working up as a resource for unlocking our gifts and talents. After you compare your thoughts to mine, feel free to comment, tweet, email, or inbox me your thoughts, and what you make of the two verses together as interlocking puzzle pieces. My choices can be found at http://www.go-minister.com/puzzling-gifts.html Be sure to check back on that page soon to see how the resource is going, and email me any contribution ideas you have, as always. God bless you!

Darkness descends early enough that you have ample time to long for the return of the sun before daylight. But, the time is about to change. Come sit in today's extra hour of light with me, & meet a few of Jesus' friends. Tonight's podcast and the Scripture references and notes are available on the podcast page: Light Changer, or you can listen in the player below.

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     "Can't we all just get along?" I remember using those words; wistfully, plaintively, in the early years of my teaching career. I've never been much of a fighter; never had the heart for fighting myself. It's not that I am not stubborn, or passionate enough to stand my ground on an argument. It is really quite the contrary. I usually have chosen one of two routes of defense when attacked. 1. Say something they'll listen to, or 2. Walk away. I don't usually engage in a physical fight. 
     The few fights I have engaged in were rash moments of insanity where I became enraged enough by pride to say something completely antagonistic enough to someone mean enough to make me regret it. One such fight was in Job Corps, when I was 18 years old. I was a quiet person, and really only interested in graduating with a trade at that time. I left people alone. But, on that one evening, I was not feeling well. It was a Saturday, and I had spent the day in bed curled up under the covers. I got up in a sleepy fog in time for dinner and made my way upstairs to the dining hall, where the line wasn't its usual length, since many students were on leave and off the base for the weekend. As I climbed the stairs, I passed Saundra, a person I only recognized as having seen around. Afterwards, I noticed her looking in my direction in the hallway. Finally, she demanded to know what I was looking at, in language laced with profanity. 
     I diverted my glance, because I could see she was irate. Really I had not been looking at her at all anyways. But, she continued to hurl the barrage of insults and curse words. I used to have an achilles heel of sorts for being cursed when I was young. I couldn't take it well. (How stupid of me!) And, I was feeling ill anyways. I snapped. I snapped at the only thing I knew about her. "I don't have to take this coming from no 'dyke!'" I snarled. It sounded like it came from someone else's mouth. I was just as shocked as everyone around me. Saundra lifted weights. She looked stronger than most of the guys I knew. But, I wasn't thinking at all... just insulted by the profanity. So, I had stricken back verbally. She suggested we step outside and take care of it. Not to be one to drop an ounce of dignity on the floor in the heat of the moment, I followed her quickly out on the external metal landing and stairway. 
     Fortunately, someone in the crowd that followed us had the presence of mind to insist we go to the ground floor. My friends and roommates were pleading with me to forget it, and let it go. Saundra took the boxing stance that she knew so well, and waited for me to take the first swing... like a gentleman. I didn't know how to fight. I just knew how to be mad at that moment. I swung my arm wildly, missing by a mile, and then the beating began. Repeatedly, she hammered my face, ears, head, stomach. I kept getting back up, thinking I was going to be able to hit her, but I never touched her. My friends were begging me by this point to just stay on the ground. Finally, my eyes were too swollen to see at all, and San Thomas, a big black girl who I had become friends with on day one at Job Corps picked me up kicking and flailing, and physically carried me to our dorm room. (I was one of only a few white girls there.)
     I laid on the bed for about 3 days, with my ears bleeding and my eyes black and blue. By the time I was coherent again, I learned that Saundra was gone; had been expelled because it turned out she had a problem with thinking people were "looking at her." I was not the first one she had fought for the same reason. I was lucky to have a friend like San who carried me away when I got carried away. 
     I remember the incident like it was yesterday. For the most part, I try to stay away from people who hurt me. So, I can't really understand why some people fight so much. It just strikes me that sometimes you get the idea that there is this list of people you are expected to hate. And, at times, it is easy to forget who is on the list. It shouldn't be that way. In my book, it is all I can do to hate the people who have wronged me. In most cases, I have forgotten why I didn't like them to start with, since my memory is not what it used to be. I can't keep up with the ones who have wronged someone else. So, to make it easier, awhile back I erased my 'list.' Then I wadded the list up and threw it away. Inadvertently, I have befriended some people who were on the 'lists' of other people I care about. So, when the protests started, I handed them a blank piece of paper, and asked them to give me a list of the people I should hate now, since I no longer have a list. Needless to say, the paper lay there blank and the complaints were silenced. 

     While in Panama City, we went to a theater to see the new release of Spiderman. Since it was sold out, Larry wanted to see the animated movie, Brave. It was a touching story of the relationship between a daughter and her Father, her Mother, and her brothers. I loved the way it dealt with a child's stubborn refusal to follow her Mother's plans, a Mother's stubborn insistence on her own plans, and the later realization of how both fit into the family.
     Cranking up the laptop late this evening for the first time in almost a week, I found my email is backed up, my scheduled Tweets ran out while I was gone and had to be refilled, I am all out of scheduled blogs, I lost about 9 games of Words With Friends when the game automatically forfeited me while away, and I have much more I should be doing, such as laundry. But, I'm sleepy, and too tired to really get into much online or in the house. Larry cooked up a huge dinner, and I think that did me in, attention wise, for this day. Good night, and I pray God blesses you and yours, and me and mine, with happiness, warmth, and the forever kind of love that eternity is for.