I met some new doctors today at the Orthopedic Center when I went to have my finger reset and more hand xrays. I try not to be prejudiced, but I can’t help not liking doctors very much at all. You can’t live without them and they just might kill you themselves if you don’t watch them closely. J This does not apply to nurses, who often spend most of their time trying to make sure the doctors actually don’t mess anything up. I have this love-hate relationship with most of my doctors now. There is only one of my doctors that I even like at all as a human being. Everything that he did failed, but he was so sorry that it failed. And, he tried to fix the problems other doctors made. He couldn’t help the fact that it was unfixable by human beings. I wouldn’t go to a dog fight with the others, without watching their every move. I don’t trust them very much, suffice it to say.
     There is that one doctor who is human. But, one of the others, the newest of the batch of specialists, allowed me to overhear him complaining to the nurses that he didn’t want to testify against a doctor at the hospital. He said it in a whiny voice when she told him the lawyer for a baby injured by a doctor had called him for a deposition after he had treated the baby for severe neurological damage. In other words, he didn’t care about the baby at all. He didn’t want to testify against another doctor. This is sickening to me in all honesty. That’s how I see it. In my human heart, I resented that he cared more about a colleague than a baby.
     But, today in Carrollton, the doctors at the Orthopedic Center were caring and professional, and definitely competent. They shook my hand. When one started explaining what was wrong with my finger, that the flexor ligament was torn, I found myself thinking that he was saying it was going to hang like that permanently, that it couldn’t be fixed. I had grown accustomed to hearing that “no cure line” when a doctor looked me in the eye so seriously. But, he was only explaining that he was going to have to bend my finger backwards and splint it that way until it healed in about 2 weeks, and that the crunching was going to be really painful. This was indeed painful, and I had been lulled into a sense of comfort while waiting on my xrays, and watching several casts being put on and cut off of the arms and legs of little kids and grown men. They talked and laughed with the doctor, and I thought it looked simple enough, until he took care of me.
     But, the kids that were left stopped laughing and all stared as he twisted my finger, and I had to catch my breath and say something to convince them the nice man wasn’t hurting people. Lol. They looked scared to death that they were next in line to get their fingers snapped. The 9 year old girl had gotten a second cast on her foot, and the first was already on her arm. The 6 year old boy had got his cut off his leg, and a pile of dirt and sand fell out of the cast. I decided to stop at The Border Mexican Restaurant in Carrollton for dinner for comfort food. I called my hubby who was just leaving work and arranged for us to meet him there at the restaurant. If my twisted face hadn’t convinced the kids at the doctor’s office that I was fine, the Mexican Dinner didn’t stand much chance of convincing me either. But, I didn’t know that beforehand.
     Then Travis and I stopped to buy him a laptop for school, and I saw the sky for the first time the whole miserable day. Suddenly, feelings of gratitude washed over me. I realized the day was spectacularly beautiful. The trees literally shook and trembled as if in expectation of the imminent rapture of Spring. Or, maybe it was just the wind. And, there was God.
     I was still in agony. Every part of me still aches. But, the anguish that goes with a bad day vanished. Amazing how God just takes your hand and turns your eyes upward to remind you that He is right here with you.  

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. 
I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see….



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