Somewhere in all this, a child begins to learn who she is, as a mixture of her family. But, I knew who I was already. I was the firstborn. I was the big sister. I could read. I was going to college one day, so I had to learn how to count money. I had to learn how to read bigger books. I was certain that this classroom was the place for me. I had no doubt. But, the teacher was shaking her head. My Mamma was saying, with this strange look of relief, that we were going home and coming back the next day. I didn't move for several minutes. I continued coloring. I did not want to leave. I was certain I needed to stay, after all, I hadn't learned to count money yet.
The problem was, the teacher explained, that she didn't know what bus I would ride to get home. There were too many children, and I might not make it home on the right bus to where I lived. So, the plan was to go home, and catch the bus the next morning, from my house so I would know for certain what bus to get on that evening. I reluctantly got out of the tiny chair. I went home and took off my school shoes, and laid down on my bed and cried.
"Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the Spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty..."-Oswald Chambers, Our Utmost for His Highest
Our political world is filled with uncertainty. Our economic security is uncertain. Even something as guaranteed as the rights within our Constitution are on the table, and up for discussion on any given day. Yesterday, we were debating the 2nd Amendment. Tomorrow, we may be debating the 1st. Our basic rights are uncertain. Even the natural world around us is uncertain, as storms, earthquakes, flooding, and natural disasters seem to increase.
The one place we like to persist in holding on to our certainty is within our home; our family. And, yet the longer I live the more I realize that even the life of our family members is uncertain. It is said that the only two things that are certain are death and taxes. And, even if you die, the taxes still must be paid. :)
The Christian life is certainly a life of uncertainty. As Oswald Chambers said, to be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways. For, when you give your life to God, you surrender your right and need to say, "I am certain." You learn the meaning of the phrase, "The Lord willing..." and embrace the ellipses that follow. The mark of a Christian is not knowing what the next day brings, since we live one day at a time willingly, but knowing with a certainty that it will be good for us. Romans 8:28 As Oswald Chambers said, we are certain in our uncertainty that Jesus has it all under control. We accept this uncertainty... this unknowing, with gracefulness. It is not that we are uncertain of God. When we are believers, it isn't that we believe in some words that Jesus said. It is that we believe in Him; the wholeness of His Godness. We believe in Him. We believe in Jesus. There in Jesus is everything that we are certain of, and for which we abandon our need to be certain. We are uncertain of tomorrow, because we are certain that God is God.
We do not become Christians. We mature into Christians. Being Christian means learning bit by bit that there is a God and you are not it. Of that I am certain!