Then, I remembered my first back bend in TRX class. Of course, we used the assistance of straps and ropes, but it was so gleefully exhilarating to find that my body could actually get into that pose. It is a joyful position, and I laughed aloud, and suddenly my friends were clapping and laughing with me. That was so much fun.
Then, I remembered for the first time in two years this exercise I did where you sit in a chair pose, like in yoga, but with your back against the wall, for minutes on end. I used to do that with my students in the hallways while they were lined up for the bathrooms. They loved the challenge, and it was a difficult position to hold. And, I remembered taking hold of the top post of the door frame with both hands, and walking up the sides with my feet, hanging suspended in the doorways during recess, with several students.
I had forgotten the jump roping for over a year, until at the movies one night, and they were hosting a birthday party, and the hostesses were jumping rope. I cried then, suddenly awash with memories of running with the jump rope, racing students around the campus during recess.
Oddly, these things were pushed beneath the surface of my memory for so long, simply because of the overwhelming shock of not being able to ride my bicycle anymore, or run in 5K's, or do 100 crunches a day, or lift weights, or take the aerobic step classes. Step class... now there is another challenging class. It was fun doing something that my body found so contrary to its own nature, because I was extremely uncoordinated. Especially in Body Jam (dance) classes. I remember my brain would go one way and my body would go the opposite. It was really the same in Yoga. When we would get through several steps of a complicated pose, and the instructor would say something like "place your left foot into your right back pocket," I would have to think for a moment to remember where my left foot was at the moment. "Now, where did I have that last?" I would think. Lol. Just exaggerating about the back pocket part. But, it seemed that way to my brain. And, it was amazing what it does to you to experience the movements of your body in completely new ways.
These things don't really bother me as much anymore. I have accepted the reality of my physical condition. It is the fact of the sweeping change that is so shocking, still. I see this honestly, clearly. And, I know that there is some higher plan at work. I know that higher powers are at work. I see clearly that Satan has thrown down the gloves in a challenge. I can't help but wonder some times, how exactly is he going to take it when God delivers me, and he sees me restored to health? He has put so much stake in tearing my body down. He stands to lose quite a bit of effort here when all his work is wasted on me. But, if you are hearing the violins, and think there is some sympathy for his losses here, there is not. I will laugh while I am dancing. And, I don't dance well, so it won't be a pretty sight.